The 'Achilles Heel' of each Enneagram type
Let’s look at the strength of each Enneagram type and how it can actually become a problem for you when it is overdone. Have you seen any of these patterns play out at work? 🫣
Moral Compass when overdone looks like: unrealistic expectations; demanding perfection in self; becoming judgemental, self-righteous or nitpicky; being resentful or angry when people don’t live up to their idealism; or working yourself to the bone because there is just so much stuff to fix in the world!
Support when overdone looks like: focusing on others so much that you neglect your own needs; expecting others to reciprocate or intuitively show up for you rather than directly asking for what you need; resorting to manipulation to get what you want; becoming bossy or overbearing; having a hard time receiving criticism; or people-pleasing to the point of burnout.
Results when overdone looks like: becoming image-conscious and spending a lot of time trying to impress others because you are so focussed on success and how you are perceived; being driven by a fear of failure that causes arrogance, jealousy, and problems being sincere; not knowing who you are independent of what you do or achieve; or having a hard time slowing down and just being.
Emotional Depth when overdone looks like: feeling like no one really understands you because you are so focused on yourself and how unique you are; being perceived as dramatic or self-absorbed; becoming envious of others or getting stuck on what is missing; or convincing yourself that something is wrong with you and withdrawing instead of connecting.
Insight when overdone looks like: seeming detached when you are in observation mode; need to gather as much information and data as possible causes you to be too analytical, rational, or objective when others need you to empathize or connect emotionally; detaching from your own emotions so you can stay calm in a crisis; or a strong self-reliance and fear of inadequacy can drive you to withdraw or isolate.
Awareness when overdone looks like: the ability to be aware of potential pitfalls makes you overly cautious and skeptical and shows up as hesitation, procrastination, suspicion, pessimism, doubt, or anxiety; never quite feeling like you have the necessary attributes, skills, or resources to handle challenges on your own; or a need to feel secure that makes you overly loyal to people or organizations as you search for outside support or structure.
Playfulness when overdone looks like: a need for adventure and spontaneity that makes it hard to follow-through on projects; easily distractible and onto the next best thing; bail on something when you feel burned out or lose energy and excitement; a lack of focus related to a fear of boredom or monotony; or a tendency to view the world through rose-colored glasses in order to avoid painful situations.
Strength when overdone looks like: a tendency to be dominating or lead through intimidation; trying to control others or the environment in order to avoid vulnerability or weakness; bringing more energy or power to a situation than is needed; or taking risks that become a liability for the team or organization.
Peace when overdone looks like: being conflict-avoidant and ignoring issues; retreating into your own world or shutting down when things get too crazy; being complacent, indifferent, or apathetic; people getting frustrated with your indecision, unresponsiveness, or procrastination; or a tendency to get lost in the shuffle and not attending to your own needs or desires.
We all have a little of each of these patterns in us - but the ones associated with your enneagram type might represent a certain type of blindspot for you.
One of the skills conscious leaders develop is the awareness of when they are operating on automatic and when those automatic patterns are no longer serving them. Once you have the discernment, then comes the emotional maturity to be willing to talk about them when they show up at work.
Without this discernment, you tend to think you are playing to your strengths and that other people are the problem. (They need to get with the program!)
Abraham Maslow was the first to describe this over-reliance on a familiar tool in this famous quote: “If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.” 🔨
I often describe this using the idiom Achilles Heel - which describes a fault or weakness that causes (or could cause) someone or something to fail.
But here’s the tricky thing…. leaders who are socialized as women are taught that what determines our worth and value is what people think about us. We aren’t taught that we have internal value or worth - instead, we have to live up to expectations and earn our worth (usually by being kind or pretty or good 😇). Because our inclusion in the group on a primitive level feels like survival, we are quick to take responsibility when things go wrong.
A lot of women aren’t offered leadership positions until later in their careers than men, so it is easy to think that you aren’t ready or that you lack experience or skills that admire in others.
We are told that we just need stronger self-esteem or to overcome imposter syndrome (thus placing the blame inside us and giving one more thing to work on or beat ourselves up about).
When you operate from a space of “low self-worth,” it is easier to own how you’ve contributed to a situation at work or to preemptively take the blame. But the skill that we are cultivating isn’t to beat ourselves up or to fall on our own sword!
The purpose of this post is to start to open your eyes to certain patterns that might be playing out in your life. And for you to be intentional about when you apply that superpower you own, and when you might choose to utilize a different tool in your tool belt.
But I also want to encourage you to stop apologizing for your superpower! Most of the time it is working for us, and is probably even the reason you were promoted or admired. It is possible for you to cultivate a style that is uniquely your own, and when you do you’ll find a bit more vitality because you stop trying to be something you aren’t.
