Paradoxically, the goals you set may actually be limiting your ability to achieve what you want…

If you want to formulate better goals, you have to be willing to examine the questions that are presupposed by your goals. This is something I do when I work with clients and is core to my coaching philosophy.

Have you read this Rilke poem before?

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart.
Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue.
Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them.
And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now.
Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.
- Ranier Maria Rilke

This poem serves as a reminder to pay attention to the unconscious questions you are asking yourself. Because goals are basically the answers to the questions you are thinking about. They point to what you think is going to solve what you see as a ‘problem.’ And the very nature of defining things as problems can limit the actions you consider taking or set up your negativity bias to look for data that confirms the problem.

✍️ Exercise: Take 5 minutes to journal on the questions that you are currently pondering. What is the story you are telling yourself?

This year I am leaning into bigger and better questions by asking myself:

🤔 How can I set myself up now for less ‘efforting’ later?

🤔 What are the key things that need to happen - the kinds of things that if you can’t accomplish them, the rest of the tasks become irrelevant if that thing doesn’t happen?

This is the time of year where we naturally start seeking the best/right answers to ‘problems.’ But often, the magical solution is outside of your view because you are asking the wrong questions. Uplevel your questions, and you can uplevel your life (often with a lot less effort than you think).

Looking for more support?

I am opening up 10 spots in January to help you formulate better questions to lean into in 2023. I’m offering these 30-minute coaching sessions for 70% off at $100 each. Fill out this form if you want to snag one before they are gone.