Are you feeling like this 👇 at the thought of school these days?

You are not alone! My sister sent me a series of photos of her little guy just trying to keep his eyes open while watching his classes on zoom and eventually falling asleep through most of his classes. (You have to be on my email list to see those photos!)

That’s why I’m excited to share what I learned recently as I prepared a workshop for parents getting ready for back to school.

I put the training to video and created a page on my website for you to watch them all in one place:

Watch the Back to School Video Training

These short videos are for you if you are a parent who wants to support their kids learning. But it is also for you if you want ideas for dealing with conflict in the moment when you get triggered, even if you aren’t a parent.

In case you are in a hurry, here’s the gist of what I’ve learned…

Our kids are little stress detectors normally, and surviving a pandemic can feel traumatic for them. 

The data is clear that stress seriously impacts our ability to learn by limiting us to our emotional/primitive brain. This makes it harder to get things done because we don’t have as much access to the parts of our brain that help with goal orientation, motivation, or productivity. 

We are asking a lot from our kids right now, so we want to make sure we are taking this into consideration.

And while it may seem obvious to us how our kids feel or what they are experiencing, it might not be obvious to them. They might be lashing out or sobbing because they can’t process this on their own. 

Tips offered in this training include:

Tip #1

Help your kids name what they are experiencing so they can better understand and find relief. Here is an article that has some more ideas on exactly how to do that.

Tip #2

Get familiar with what triggers you and your kids. We are more sensitive to our triggers when we are operating on empty or in times of stress. I have a free download with triggers by Enneagram type on my website if you want some insight.

Tip #3

Don’t be afraid of conflict. It is just an indicator that something needs to be understood or a core need is not being met. You don’t have to take responsibility for fixing what is going on, but understanding the dynamic will help you take it less personally and free you up to think creatively.

Tip #4

Reset expectations. The conditions are not great for inspiring motivation in a remote learning environment. That doesn’t mean that we give up on our ideals, but it does mean that we might have to approach it a little differently. I offer ideas from research that I’ve picked up while homeschooling my teens that might help you get your kids more excited about what they are learning. 

Tip #5

Plan ahead to avoid conflict. Being intentional about your environment and making as many decisions ahead of time that you can prevent decision fatigue, dashed expectations, and miscommunications. Managing sleep can be a big piece of this puzzle.

Tip #6

Be strategic when you do get triggered, by taking a break to down-regulate your nervous system and then coming back to repair with active listening when you are calm. Focusing the conversation on feelings and not rehashing what happened can really help.

I have no doubt you are doing a great job showing up for your family during this time. I’m wishing you the best of luck as you transition to this next season. I keep reminding myself that it is enough to figure out how to just keep everyone alive!

(Go ahead and send this to a friend who could use a little help too!)